Fighting the Battle

It was important that I write today.  Important for me, and important for anyone like me, anyone who struggles with days like these.  Today is one of those "Fat" days, when I feel overweight, even though I know I'm not.  These days are defined by my ability to apply the strategy of mind over matter.  I'm so excited that I am just beyond a full year of healthy eating, and I know that I'm using everything I've learned over the course of that year when faced with a day like today.  When I really reflect on it, there are two defining parts to days like these that ensure that I am able to lay my head on the pillow at night, knowing full well that I won the battle: Rationalization and Action.

Rationalize

I know, from the moment I get out of bed on a day like this, that it'll be a battle.  There's something about how I feel in my skin on days like these that is just different.  I'm more aware of how clothing feels when it comes into contact with my body.  I feel as if my muscles are not as toned as they were the day before, which is silly and hard to explain, but simply the way it is.  Right away, I begin to rationalize why I'm waking up feeling like this, and today, these were my thoughts:

• Today is a rest day, which means no exercise.  In my mind, I think that can mess with my body image because I know I won't be burning any calories.  
• I washed my pants.  What?!  I have these really great yoga pants that Ashley bought me for my birthday, and today I wore them for the first time since washing them.  They're not as baggy as the day she gave them to me, obviously because of the dryer.  I had to remind myself of that a few times today, because they are tighter than they were last week.
• I looked forward to my week of training, because Coach Rick mentioned that he was going to increase the intensity this week.  Knowing that I would be working hard in the coming days helped a lot.

Action

Being able to acknowledge this problem allows me to take action to make sure I stay healthy.  Different days require different kinds of action, and this is what I did today:

• I planned out what I would eat throughout the day, thinking specifically about what will best fuel me for the upcoming week.  I made sure I planned to take in clean, whole foods throughout the day.  Eating foods I know will improve my performance gives every bite purpose.
• I counted calories...to make sure I was eating enough.  About mid-afternoon, I knew I was on the low side, so I made a protein shake.  On days like these, they are an absolute treasure, because I know I am taking in pure nutrition, but I don't feel overly-full.  A perfect combination.
• I kept busy.  On school days, I don't have to put much effort into keeping busy, but today is Sunday.  I prepared for the week, including another flippin' snowstorm, did laundry and organized my running shoes.  I did some work on my and Rick's book project, read 10 picture books, and planned out a storyboard for a picture book I'm writing.  I played games with Mathew and talked with Ashley about girl stuff.

Days like these have to be deliberate and planned out.  I have to sit and rationalize, writing it down.  I have to plan the action I'll take, and set check points during the day to make sure I'm following through.  It may seem like a lot of work, but it works for me, clearly.  Its the end of the day, and it's been a great day. My mantra for days like this:

I am worth more than my perception of how I look on the outside, and I am stronger than the feelings that take over on these days.  A year plus is proof of that.