Conscious Positivity

"For one so small, you seem so strong." - Phil Collins

It's been just over week since my ill-fated 18-miler that wasn't, and it has been a mental challenge to conquer, for sure.  After resting and icing it Sunday and Monday, I did mostly cross-training this week to give my left foot and ankle a rest, which is absolutely the right thing to do physically, and nearly impossible as a runner preparing for her second marathon in just over two weeks.  If I were to allow it, it could really get into my head, the doubt and worry, and the constant thought that I should be running.  Kind of like when I got hurt three weeks before Boston, when I fell apart and managed it all very poorly.

As I was weight training one morning, I thought about all the things I should be doing instead of worrying because worrying doesn't help anything, and I decided that this time would be different.  Not only would I follow my coach's plan, but I would do it with the spirit of a runner who'd finished Boston in excruciating pain, because this girl doesn't quit.  So, I cross-trained, worked hard to avoid focusing on little twinges and aches, and put my energy into all things positive.

• I checked in on my friend Natalie, preparing for the Bay State Marathon, and made plans with our friend Jess, ensuring we'd be there with signs and balloons to cheer her on.  We then got to watch that woman define strength and resilience.  I am in awe of what I saw in her that day, and it will stay with me, not only as I tackle tough spots in future marathons, but as I encounter challenges in life.  She is something special.
• I've got a new writing project in the very early stages of development. I am so incredibly methodical and organized with writing, so that has given me lots to think about and plan.  It's so exciting, and I am so proud to have the opportunity to be working on this.  Truthfully, it's been an anchor that I've held onto, something to look forward to after NYC.
• Every time I was hit with something negative, I immediately turned around and did something kind or thoughtful for someone else.  THAT was fun, and I'm going to keep doing this, because the happy definitely beats out the cranky that way.

Today I ran.  It was a chilly day, starting to cloud up, but I needed a good run so badly.  Truth be told, I panicked a little at the start, as aches and pains started to surface, but I remembered what Coach told me about not focusing on my foot, and I instead focused on my form and efficiency.  By the middle of the run, I had warmed up and I was feeling really good.  So good, I had to keep my speed in check a few times and I really wanted to keep going.  I needed a good run, and I got one.  That's a pretty great feeling, thirteen days out!